The name game
by Elivier
Summary: Luke is confused as to what he should call himself now. It takes three dimension hopping girls and one dimesion hopping boy to figure out his name. Oneshot, no pairings, light Natalia and Tear bashing. Obsessive fandom ahead. oocness. Lots of it.


Elivier: So I haven't updated any of my stories in a bit.

Luke: Nope.

Elivier: And normally I have Lloyd here.

Luke: Yup.

Elivier: ...So why isn't he?

Luke: I dunno.

Elivier: ...Oh.

Luke: You aren't so good at this are you?

Elivier: Well not many people read this anyway, so I don't really have to be.

Luke: ...It's just because it's me.

Elivier: No it isn... yeah. It is.

Luke: I see...

Elivier: ...

Luke: ...

Elivier: ... Soooooo

Luke: -Cough-

Elivier: ...AWKWARD TURTLE!! -whacks Luke upside the head-

Luke: Ow! What the crap?!

Elivier: NUUUUUUUUU!! I CAN'T WORK LIKE THIS!!

Luke: O.o

Elivier: GAH!! I NEED A COFFE BREAK!!

Luke: ...

Elivier: You are in charge!

Luke: Wait... You can't leave you are the-

Elivier: -Leaves-

-Story shuts off-

Luke: Oh Lorelei it's dark!

...

Luke: Elivier!!

...

Luke: ELIVIER!!

...

Luke: WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

...

Luke: -Sniffle-

...

Luke: ...Disclaimer?

...

Luke: Uh... Sure... uh...

...

Luke: Elivier doesn't own Tales of the Abyss or any of it's characters. She does own the dimesion hopping teenagers though.

...

Luke: So uh...

...

Luke: What now?

Elivier: STORY ON!!

-Story gets turned back on and starts-

Luke: I'M SO GLAD YOU CAME BACK!!

Elivier: Ew! REPLICA SNOT!!

* * *

It was a normal day in the world. Luke was angsting, Tear was being cold, Natalia was being stupid, Jade was being a sarcastic old man, Guy was obsessing over fontech, and Anise was trying to get more money. It was on this normal day that three girls and one boy fell through a dimensional rift into their world.

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO MESS WITH IT!!"

"I'm sorry! I was just so curious!"

"Oh, look, a flower…"

"Can you please get off of me Inu?"

The first girl was blonde, shoulder length, with one blue eye and one green eye. She had on a grey hoodie with duct tape covering the front and baggy tan pants. Tan cat ears were flat against her head as a tan tail was fluffed up behind her. Her teeth were gritted in anger as she yelled at the second girl. The second had short black hair with purple streaks. Her eyes were a light green. She had on black tank top, black pants with chains, and black boots. A large mess of chains were wrapped around her wrists like bracelets. Silverish white wolf ears were also flat against her head, but not in anger, and a fluffy silverish white tail with a black tip was curled between her legs. She was yelling back at the blonde in apology.

Down on the ground lay the last girl and the boy. The girl had shoulder length black hair with fading blonde highlights. Her eyes were a dark brown, almost black. She was short and had on a large black coat and a small brown t-shirt with blue jeans. Small squirrel ears twitched lazily on her head as her big fluffy tail whooshed behind her.

On top of her, or at least laying on top of her back as the girl was on her stomach, was the boy. He also had short black hair, but his was spiky. His eyes were a pretty chocolate brown and he appeared to be about as tall as the girl he was on top of. He was wearing an all black clothes ensemble with black dog ears and a black tail wagging happily behind him as he stared at a yellow flower that was in front of his face.

"You never listen!" The blonde growled. "Whenever I tell you something you never listen! And you always seem to get us in trouble! WHAT AM I YOUR BABYSITTER?! PAY ATTENTION OOKAMI!!"

"I told you I was sorry!" The wolf whined. "Can't you just let it go? I mean, we are all okay!"

"She has a point Neko," The boy cut in "we all are okay."

"Speak for yourself. " The girl under him huffed. "You are heavy Inu!"

"Oh…," Inu mumbled and stood "I am sorry Risu."

The small girl pulled herself up and brushed off her jacket. Neko sighed as her head drooped.

"Oh well," she mumbled "might as well figure out what world we landed in this time.

Yes this time. These girls have done quite a bit of dimension hopping in their days. Though they really aren't that old. But those are stories for another time.

Meanwhile, across the field Luke's group had stopped for a picnic. As usual Luke was off in the distance being a loner. Guy frowned and stood so that he could go comfort the redhead, but a very high pitched scream was heard.

"GAILARDIA GALLAN GARDIOS!!"

Guy froze then turned slowly in the direction of the voice. His blood ran cold as he saw Risu running straight for him.

"Oh Lorelei please no."

Risu jumped up in the air and dove head first at the blond. He quickly back flipped then turned and ran. Risu was behind him the entire way, slowly gaining.

"HELP MEEEEEEEE!!" He cried and lunged behind Jade.

Said brunet looked up and came face to face with Inu. It was a slight mystery as to how the boy could move so fast. Risu was behind him, panting and waiting for the dog to grab his prey.

"Oh sh-"

"JADE!!"

Inu tackled the fonist to the ground and began rubbing his face on the man's cheek. Jade twitched and grabbed the boy's hair, yanking hard. Inu didn't budge.

Meanwhile Guy was trying to sneak off into the distance. He was almost behind a large hill when something hit him from behind. He screamed like a little girl and began to flail around wildly trying to throw the "thing" off him. Risu giggled in his ear and held on tighter. If one listened closely they could hear the latching of several locks.

When Neko and Ookami finally caught up with their companions they snorted. Well Neko did. Ookami just chuckled.

"Guys," Neko called "give them a break."

Inu's ears pricked up and his tail began to wag. He jumped off of Jade and dashed over to Neko, doing the begging motion while on his knees. Neko patted his head.

Off in the distance Risu groaned.

"But I don't wanna Neko!" She whined.

"Inu." Neko sighed.

The boy was up and over to the squirrel girl in a flash, prying her off. It didn't take much effort on his part to set the Gardios free. Risu sobbed loudly and began making large hand gestures as she kicked her feet. She was carried all the way back to the group where she was placed safely on the ground and away from Gailardia. She pouted silently.

"What's going on?" Luke asked as he finally decided to get out of his slump.

"They have returned." Jade hissed, which was very uncharacteristic of him.

"Oh… Well then welcome back…" Luke was talking slower then usual. Tear appeared from the back and began a worried rant.

"Oh Luke," she cried "you should rest if you aren't feeling well!"

"I'm fine Tear," he groaned "I'm just a little… off is all."

"You aren't off," Neko growled "you are being emo!" Luke looked at her confusedly. "SMILE DANG YOU!! SMIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLEEEEE!!"

Everyone jumped except for Inu, Risu, And Ookami. They all gave Neko strange looks and took one step back. Luke frowned.

"That isn't a smile!" Neko screamed.

"Yes it is." Inu chirped. He picked Neko up by the waist and turned her upside down. She didn't seem to notice and continued to glare at Luke. As soon as she was flipped his frown was quite literally turned upside down and it looked as if he were smiling… had he not been upside down himself.

"Oh I see it!" She thrust her finger into the ground as if it were the air. It missed hitting the grass by inches.

"Uh…," Luke couldn't think of anything to say so he just started to back away slowly as Neko was flipped back over and placed on the ground.

"So Luke," Ookami cut in "why were you being emo?"

Luke looked at the ground, hoping that she would just ask another question. Ookami didn't take the hint and just asked again.

"I asked why you were being emo," Ookami said, frowning.

"I… was just thinking." Luke tried, but everyone looked at him to continue. "I mean… I was thinking that… since I'm a replica… my name isn't really Luke…"

"Oooohhh…"

"So then… you don't know your name?" Risu asked.

"Well if Luke isn't my real name then I don't have a real name. So in actuality I don't have a name. I'M A NAMELESS FREAK!!"

Luke began sobbing hysterically. The group shifted nervously.

"Then how about we give you a name?" Inu suggested.

"Wh-what name?" Luke sniffed.

"How about…," Inu placed a finger on his chin as he thought and stroked his imaginary beard "Ted?"

"No way!" Neko cut in. "I say it should be something extravagant! Like Gregorio or something."

"That sounds a bit to close to my Ex's name to be safe." Ookami moaned. "How about Louie?"

"No," Risu said, shaking her head "to plain. Maybe Bartholomule?"

"It that even how you spell that?" Jade asked.

"Don't point out problems with the text Jade!" Guy hissed. "You aren't supposed to know it exists!"

"How about Tony?" Inu suggested, ignoring Jade's comment.

"To American." Neko sighed.

"And Luke isn't?" Ookami asked.

"…I plead the fifth." Neko deadpanned.

"There are no rights here Neko." Risu whispered. "We are in a completely different world."

"Blast!" Neko hissed. "How about Huey?"

"How do you even pronounce that?" Jade asked, once again pointing out problems in the text.

"I don't know," Guy mumbled "but you really have to stop doing that or you'll piss of the author."

"I like breaking the fourth wall Guy." Jade said as if it was obvious… which to an extent it was.

"Shane?" Ookami put in.

"Anything_ but_ that!" Risu snarled.

"Pardon me, I forgot about that." Ookami raised her hands in defense.

"Forgot about what?" Luke asked.

"That her brother's name is Shane." Inu answered. "How about…"

Storybreakstorybreakstorybreakstorybreakomgstorybreakomgstorybreak

Luke parried another sword and sent the owner reeling back as Luke shoved his blade through the man's chest. He panted a bit and continued to fight off the soldiers. They did not seem to be stopping.

"How about Sam?"

"No, only Sam can be Sam. It would be too awkward."

"You are right. Stan?"

Luke looked over at the girls and boy as they sat off on the sidelines, still contemplating a name. Luke narrowed hi eyed and glared at them with all his strength. They didn't even notice.

"Not Stan. Every time someone says Stan I picture the little kid from Southpark." Ookami explained.

"Johnny?" Risu suggested.

"No, to devil went down to Georgia." Neko sighed.

"Maybe Bobby?" Inu asked.

"…No." They all said at the same time.

"I GOT IT!" Ookami shouted.

The battle stopped for a split second giving Jade enough time to finish his spell and send many of the soldiers burning alive.

"He shall be Enrico Salvador Alalalala." Ookami flicked her tongue back and fourth while she said it, making it sound funny.

Luke's sword flew from his hand and straight into a soldier's head. Luke's jaw was slack and his eyes wide and his arm was still outstretched as if he still held his sword. The girls (and boy) looked at Luke blankly.

"No way." the redhead finally growled. "Just no! It was a bit fun in the beginning, but under no circumstances shall I be called ENRICO SALVADOR!!"

"Alalalala." Ookami added in under her breath.

"None of that!" Luke snapped, pointing his finger at the group of dimension hopping teens. "There will be no more name searching! I'll just stick with Luke! Simple yet enjoyable Luke, UNDERSTAND?!"

"Sure," Neko yawned "we get it."

"Perfectly." Risu chirped.

"Yup." Inu sighed.

"Good. Now leave!" Luke ordered.

"So no riding off into the sunset with your hair blowing in the wind Alalalala?" Ookami asked.

The scream could be heard for miles and miles. There would be a camera zoom out at this point and then it would zoom back into Luke pulling out his hair in frustration as Ookami cackled manically in the corner.

"Well that was stupid. This is a fanfiction. There are no cameras in fanfiction."

Jade I swear to-

"Oh what could you possibly do to me? You don't own me."

No… I don't, buuuuttt you _are_ currently in _my_ fanfiction. Soooo… that means that I can do as I wish to you!

"…No you can't."

…I'll get you.

"Sure you will."

…STORY OVER!!

-Screen fades to black-

* * *

Elivier: So that is that.

Luke: ...

Elivier: Luke doesn't like me right now so he won' talk to me...

Luke:

Elivier: I wonder if it had something to do with that blackout.

Luke: ...

Elivier: Or maybe the replica comment...

Luke: ...-Sniffle-

Elivier: Now I feel slightly guilty.

Luke: ...

Elivier: ...Oh well!

Luke: -Pout-

Elivier: Well anywho, Read an review!

Luke: I wasn't upset at you...


End file.
